Day #3 & 4: Planes, Trains, Automobiles.... and Busses! Oh and guess what? We are coming home.

*Disclaimer: no humor in this post. (Read on)

Lima to Cusco to Urubamba to Ollantaytambo to Machu Picchu.... in 24 hours!

 We were picked up at 5:30 in the morning to go to the Lima airport where we were taking a short, one hour plane ride  to Cusco where we then had a driver waiting for us who would take us to  Ollantaytambo  where we would tour the Incan  ruins that day, stay the night at a hotel and head to Machu Picchu on the train early the next morning.

 Even though it is summer in Lima, the mountains and town of Ollantaytambo  did not get that memo and it rained almost the entire time we were here. I have to pause and give a shout out to my mom who forced me to purchase one of those ridiculous ponchos  that I swore I would never wear, but guess what?   I have now worn it for two days  and consider it an essential piece my wardrobe from here on out. If you see me wearing it, I look like a giant beige turtle. That is just not a good look on me,  also considering that I wear my backpack underneath the poncho to keep it dry as well. I had Jane take a picture and I was just  ridiculous looking.

Fast forward to today and I spent 8 of the most amazing hours of my life hiking around Machu Picchu.  I could spend paragraphs upon paragraphs describing  what I saw and learned from our amazing tour guide Pamela but it would not do it justice so I will leave you with the suggestion that you absolutely must see this in your life.... and while you can still climb a bazillion stairs! The private tour guide was worth every cent.

Now to the really "unfunny" part of the post...and our day... Jane and I were at 8,000 feet and had just left the Incan sundial. You can imagine the cell phone reception would be nonexistent up on a mountain that had no electricity let alone cell towers.   Imagine my surprise when my phone buzzed in my pocket telling me that I had a text message. I pulled my phone out and saw that there was a text from Jane's daughter, Deanna telling us that Jane's dad had a major stroke and Jane  needed to get home as soon as possible. And by "get home" I mean California.  It would be almost funny if it wasn't so tragic that we were so far from where she needed to be at that very moment. Our tour guide was wonderful and called ahead to get us on a bus back as soon as possible.   We will need to take a bus, a train, a taxi, a plane, and a few other flights to get Jane back to Los Angeles to see her dad

 The rest of the evening was spent rescheduling our flight back to Lima.  We are trying to get Jane down to Los Angeles as soon as possible and because she was the one who is going to set everything up for Bailey and be his homeschool teacher, we are also bringing Bailey back with us. Jane will most likely stay in the United States for several weeks if not longer.   I am super sad about Jane's dad who my kids call Grandpa Richard and I am telling myself that Bailey and I both returning to Los Altos days after we left is the way it was meant to be for some reason that we have not discovered yet.

 My heart is with my dear friend and her family as I  literally experienced the very same thing with my dad 15 years ago.

 I am sure there will be more adventures in our future.

 I wish all of you happy and peaceful and healthy 2017.

Gina and Bailey Go Peruvian! (Day #2: December 27, 2016)

It is a bit mind bending to leave one place where it is winter and arrive hours later to summer. It was already really warm when I woke up (at 10:00am!:) Jane and John live in a part of Lima called La Molina and their yard looks like a little oasis, complete with a patio and pool. (This is juse ONE of the hardships Bailey will have to endure while he is here.) Because they are "semi-diplomats", they have some pretty sweet things I would like to have, like a housekeeper and a cook... who is named Justina. I am seriously considering sending Bailey back home and staying in his place! I went downstairs to get some water after I woke up and when I returned to my room minutes later, my bed was already made! It was like I had a visit from the hotel fairy... and I LOVE her!

I got to tour the embassy and the Peace Corps building with Jane and John repectively. Both were super interesting but in different ways. If I had to sum up my trip to the embassy in a single comment, it would be, "Security is a very serious business there." To even get past the driveway there were three levels of guards with varying degrees of weaponry... all of which was purposely visible I am sure! The one thing that struck me as humorous was that while you are parked in the embassy parking lot, there are a bunch of guys that go around and will wash your car while you are doing your business inside! Now that is convenience! The Peace Corps offices are housed in a beautiful old house. The whole vibe there was relaxed and happy. Every single person we were introduced to was super friendly and positive!

One other interesting feautre that I noticed was the "stoplight entertainment"options. Jane seems to know the people who work the intersections by name and gave many soles (Peruvian currency) out as we waited. So far we have been treated to juggling and a purchase of "2017" New Years glasses. I have been told that they will also be selling YELLOW UNDERWEAR (Yes, you read that correctly!)
because that is ä thing here for the new year. Bailey wondered aloud why it matters if you are wearing yellow underwear on New Years Eve is noone sees it? He either has a really good point or I am now terrified to attend the big party we have been invited to!

Upon our arrival home from our errands I saw that the hotel fairy has a sister and her name is RESTAURANT fairy! I almost sobbed with envy when I saw that the kitchen was spotless and there was a beautiful dinner all ready to be set on the table! Decision made. I am NEVER leaving... or I am going to BEG Justina to come live with me. Dinner was delicious, as if there was ANY doubt!

Our luggage arrived and I unpacked and then re-packed again because Jane and I are heading out at 5:00am (2:00am in my body) for our girls trip to Machu Picchu! Stay tuned!

Gina and Bailey go Peruvian! (Day #1: December 26-27, 2016)

Welcome to my latest scrapbook of  verbal tirades and photos to support them! To catch up those of you who do not listen to my rants of parenthood on the regular, Bailey decided to finish out highschool in Peru, learn Spanish without a workbook, and enjoy the REALLY NICE lifestyle (more on that later) with his Godparents, Jane Divinski and John Alexander, in Lima Peru.

I was SUPER excited to be going there with him and thought that this was LITERAlLY a fraction of the McDonells we usually travel with so this should be a piece of cake right? Well, as it turned out, it was NOT a piece of cake but a cluster of .... not cake. We arrived at SFO about 7:00am which meant that Bailey was essentially comatose and not mentally present so Toby and I did the check-in and headed immediately to the Starbucks for some "morning medication"while Bailey found a nice comfy table to curl up and nap atop of. The first indication of potential trouble came when the flight was delayed an hour. "No worries", I said. We had a four hour layover in Los Angeles anyway. Hmmm... as it turned out, no so much....

The next occurence of concern was when Bailey and I went through security and they flagged what we call the "$10,000 suitcase". It contained LOTS of cameras, computer stuff, plugs and apparently caused some concern for the TSA people because they unpacked it... all. Fortunately our flight was delayed further and Bailey could have had time to give a detailed tour of each item if they so desired.

After making our way to our seats on the plane we enjoyed another hour of quiet (and stuffy) contemplation on the runway because SHOCKINGLY there were many flights into L.A. the day after Christmas and things were being delayed. (Someone should have put a teacher OR a mother in charge of the flight schedules and this would NEVER have happened!) I was still feeling "totally okay"with the delay because we would still have two hours to get from one terminal to the other, grab some food for the boy and leisurely board our plane. NOT MEANT TO BE! Our flight into LAX landed FIVE minutes after our flight to Lima was boarding and we had to take a bus and walk across three continents (only a slight exaggeration I asure you!) to get to our gate. Bailey has a broken arm so I am pulling two bags and wearing a big backpack... it is VERY IMPORTANT to set up the visual here so pause before reading on.... anyway, there was a group of about ten of us that were LITERALLY running through the terminals yelling, "Wait! We are coming!" Again, I need you to picture ME RUNNING... with luggage. The first two words sound like some sort of oxymoron but add the luggage to the image and it was just NOT a good look for me.

We were literally the last people on the bus that took us across the other four continents of airstrips so we could board our plane to Peru. I was SUPER happy I had worn a seater and a scarf as that was making me feel like a wrestler before a weigh in. The flight to Lima itself was uneventful as my companion was unresponsive and asleep for 95% of the trip.

We arrived in Lima about 1:00am and waited for our luggage with everyone else.... and waited... and waited until we were the only ones there except for the exact same ten people who raced through the airport with us. Until that moment it never occured to me that if we had made it with seconds to spare that our luggage would not be nearly so urgent to roll toward the plane.Fast forward (that is a joke BTW) to 3:00 am and I headed to bed with my borrowed pajamas and prayers to the LATAM airline gods that I would be gifted with fresh undies the next day.

Day 24: Kotor and Budva, Montenegro or “UNDERparenting at its finest”

July 10: Kotor and Budva, Montenegro

Last day. We have been gone almost a month and seen more sights, cities and countries than the kids ever have in their lives. We have used almost ever conceivable means of transportation from bicycles to ferry boats, but why stop there? Let’s add just one more… on the last day, just to round out the trip in a terrifying fashion. What else is there left you ask? Well, how about parasailing… over the Adriatic Sea… in a big GoPRO boat… with the mother (FREAKING OUT) miles back on the shore while 2/3 of her children soar into the skies and are but a tiny speck on the horizon.

Let’s give a bit of backstory here… We arrived in Montenegro about noon and because I clearly have some preconceived notions about what the former Yugoslavia would look like, and the Balkans in general, I was expecting a sort of sad, war-torn landscape that was trying to rebuild itself. TOTALLY WRONG! It was easily the most beautiful and picturesque landscape I have seen yet! I was visualizing Sarajevo from CNN but it was more like a movie set. Water, so crystalline blue, it was astounding, houses, mansions, and tiny fishing huts lining the stunning coastline with an incredibly pristine and undeveloped backdrop of cliffs and soaring mountains.I literally sat on our deck for an hour as we moved up the fjord trying to absorb the beauty and commit it to memory. I must have taken twenty photos but this is truly a situation where the pictures simply can not convey the magnificence of this place.

Because we are benevolent parents and have a even more benevolent Nana, (and we sort of got the hint that the kid’s desire for sightseeing might be waning a bit…ha!) we had chosen the “Beach Break” trip which was essentially a SHORT drive to the Queen of Montenegro Resort where we would set the children loose to play in the Adriatic Sea while we “supervised” from lounges and sampled the “beach boy” services. (That sounds so inappropriate but that is seriously what they called the beach waiters. I was fine with that:)

What a day it was. So fun and relaxing. I was assured by the tour leader that not only were there no jellyfish here but no sharks either! That can NOT be said for California or Hawaii which are my other ocean experiences and has made me borderline paranoid about swimming more than five feet out. This was like a green light of opportunity for me! Into the sea I went! As I lay floating about 50 feet from shore I had to take a moment to reflect on the fact that 1) I was not hyperventilating as I imagined I looked like a tasty seal to a hungry shark 2) I was swimming in the ADRIATIC SEA! and 3) This had been an incredible month of adventure for our family. 

Not to be left to my own thoughts for too long, Bailey shouted, “Hey Mom! Can we do that?” As I turned and looked I saw a boat driving by, pulling a parasailing couple near us. Huh. That could be fun. Riley jumped at the chance to do it as well so we made our way over to the “office” on the beach, and by office I mean a table with about ten young men smoking and chattering under an umbrella. You could just feel the professionalism rolling off them…. NOT. We told them the boys wanted to try it. As I stayed under the umbrella waiting to fill out forms, consents, insurance waivers, selecting life jackets, listening to the safety precautions, one of the guys whistled, made a gesture to Bailey and Riley and pointed to the boat. Instead of ONE WORD OR PIECE OF PAPER I was told, “Boat too full for you. You wait here. We take pictures and video for you.” 

WHAT????!!!!! By this time the boys are already in the boat and it is heading out of the bay…. WAY out of the bay! SO far out of the bay that I can barely see the fluorescent green parasail in the distance. All I could think was HOLY CRAP! I have just sent 2/3 of my children out on a boat in a foreign country to be tied to the back of said boat and flung into the air over the Adriatic Sea. I won’t embarrass myself further by revealing all the terrifying scenarios I imagined while they were gone but let’s just say that when they came back quite happy and excited I wanted to cry… but that would have been really embarrassing so I just asked, “Did you have fun?”. Of course they did and as they talked about it, Jensen asked, “Mom? Can I please try that now?” Oh. Hell. No. No. No.

So “The McDonells Take Europe” comes to an end with two days at sea as we make our way back to Barcelona for our flight home. It has been a shockingly easy trip with regards to being in each other’s pockets for a month. I am all ready to plan the next adventure… I am thinking England, Scotland, and Ireland but Riley has asked that we take a break and “just go to Hawaii” next time. Sigh. I thought we would have given all of them the travel bug but it may take a few more trips I guess. Toby and I are making a list of specific SMALL locations we want to visit next time and Bailey has said that he could see himself living in several of these places in the future. In reflection, this trip totally accomplished what we wanted it to: the boy’s view of the world and it’s staggering variety has been expanded, they know they can easily survive with a small amount of material items (as long as there is occasional wifi!) and our family has an incredible shared experience that they will take with them as they grow and create their own in the future. Bon Voyage Europa! Hello Los Altos! We do love home!

Day 23: Ravenna, Italy or “Is it considered child abuse to take kids shopping?”

July 9: Ravenna, Italy

Our last stop in Italy was Ravenna, a cozy little town that was ONLY a twenty minute bus ride from the port. The ENTIRE tour was ONLY THREE hours! It is called “A Taste of Ravenna”, there will be food! Lots of food!

This was my very unconvincing sales pitch to the children. Toby and my brother had left earlier in the morning for the Ferrari museum and I was going solo with the kid wrangling. Fun. We arrived in Ravenna and were herded down the street with our “lollipop leader”. Once again, we were auditorily attached to our guide with those little radios and I was the only one listening. The kids don’t even bother to “plug in” anymore. I am simply to alert them when the feeding will begin. As we moved down a very quaint cobblestone street to our first destination, one of the boys gasps, “Mom! What is that?!” (and NOT in an excited way, more of a disbelieving and angry way)

“Oh. That is the church of San Vitale. It is super famous and has incredible mosaics and….” I never got to finish because Jensen buried his face in my stomach and said, “Mooommmm…. nooooooo! Can we go back?” Well. No. I tried to make it sound better by saying, “Look at the crypts! There are probably dead people in those!” That did get them at least into the gates but it was an excruciating 45 minutes… for them. I chose to ignore their miserable faces and listen to the (very interesting to me!) information about the church and the truly masterful mosaics that lined the walls and ceilings. 

By the time we were on the little cobblestone street again heading to our “refreshment”, they had reached a new low in morale. Riley could be heard mumbling, “our refreshment is probably a cup of water and a crouton”, followed by “OR it will be a piece of poop, an orange peel and a dollop of mayonnaise.” To their surprise it was NOT any of those things and it was quite good! After our lunch, we still had 45 minutes before we headed back on the bus and the adorable streets SERIOUSLY had some amazing stores with SUPER cheap prices so I set out to do a little browsing in the shops. I NEVER told them they had to go with me but as I entered the first store I turned to see that they were trudging behind me like I was forcing them on some sort of Outlet Sale death march. It sort of sucked the fun out of any potential purchases for me as you can imagine. Fortunately the bus arrived to take them back to the pool, golf course and endless ice cream buffet and I snuck away to read and console myself with some “adult soda”. 

Tomorrow is our LAST stop before two days at sea and heading home. We are off to Kotor, Montenegro (formerly part of Yugoslavia) and I have really high hopes for this day as I have heard that the scenery is literally breathtaking. 

Day 20-22: Venice, Italy or “The Rialto bridge is amaz….oh. It seems to be under renovation.”

July 6-8: Venice, Italy

Brotherly love or
they are trying to snap each
other's necks off. :)

After a full 24 hours at sea on our way up to Venice we managed to catch up on our sleep and see what 24-hour a day buffets look like. It is NOT pretty. At one point I was dangerously close to a food coma and began hallucinating that I was on the spaceship from Wall-E and we would just gently move along from food to food on a giant human conveyor belt. Buffets are nobody’s friend, especially when there are swimsuits and beach days ahead. I in NO WAY needed that exposure so I escaped to… the bar at the back of the ship again. I seriously have no clue why I am always one of less than five people there. It has comfy chairs, a 180 degree view of the ocean AND people bring you tasty beverages! I think I may have found the best kept cruise ship secret! 

Toby, meanwhile, has not only made friends with most of the people on the ship but the bartenders know his name, his drink preference and even have started giving him FREE tasty beverages! When we walked by the pool bar I heard, “To-by!” At first I thought that it just sounded like his name being called but when it happened again and Toby stopped to greet the bartender by name I asked, “Do all the bartenders know you by name?!” His response, “Yes. that is (whatever his name was) and he has five kids and has been here for seven months…..” and continues to tell me more about this one bartender than I know about some of the people I work with! I feel like I am vacationing with the mayor of the ship. The most entertaining moment was when we were on some shore excursion and Toby was chatting with a tour guide….  that was NOT even from our cruise line! He had somehow met her at another tour or location. I have NO idea how he does this but I do find it totally endearing.

Cheers!

After we arrived in Venice we took a boat tour around the city. We were dropped off at St. Mark’s Square and TOTALLY intentionally tried to get ourselves lost in the tiny street-lined canals of Venice. From past experience this was how we have always found the best (and less pricey) restaurants and this was no exception. SOOOOOOO good! The wine, the bread, the pasta, the pizza! Even if the food had not been delicious, the actual restaurant was incredibly old and quintessentially Venice. By the time dinner was over the children (led by Toby) were going through gelato withdrawls so we had to “cone up” stat! 

I was super excited to take my brother and his family to see the Rialto Bridge which is one of my favorite sights. As we followed the signs and got closer it didn’t look right. As we made the last turn I saw it…. scaffolding! All over the bridge! It looked like a construction site! Oh dear. Hello Trevi Fountain part two… Um… how about we get some more gelato! Yes! That will be fun! (Someone needs to talk to the Italian tourism department about perhaps doing renovations NOT during the height of tourist season?) We would not let this ruin our day! We wandered the alleys and crossed bridges until it was getting dark and we had to head back to the floating hotel. 

Good Morning kiddies! GET UP! We have a tour to see the Murano glass factory AND a gondola tour today! We need to be ready to go at 8:00. Not sure if you happened to see my post on Facebook but our poor abused children were face planted on the balcony table as they waited for Daddy to deliver them each a large mocha. (They are truly embracing the Italian lifestyle!) The threat that got Bailey out of his SUITE (still bitter) was the threat that he would not have an opportunity to eat again for a few hours. The caloric requirements of all my children is truly astounding. They are going to be so disappointed when we get home and I tell them their dinner options…. oh! Wait! There are NO dinner options at home except to eat it or not. :)

The glass works was amazing and watching the master glass blowers create magnificent objects from red hot blobs was surreal. Of course I almost had a nervous breakdown when we were led their showroom. I seriously told the kids (and myself) to stay in the middle of the rooms and to not to make any sudden moves… or breathe too hard. A mother’s nightmare is three boys who have been together non-stop for almost a month in a confined space lined with LITERALLY tens of thousands of dollars worth of glass. I could not get back on the boat fast enough!

Super excited when Mom
takes photos...NOT

Of course we could not visit Venice without a gondola ride. Our gondolier was grumpy so I was not feeling the “romance” vibe that is synonymous with this activity. It also could have been the other four people smushed in the boat with Toby and me.  It was still really interesting to be able to cruise down some super narrow canals that we could never have seen from a vaporetto or water taxi. Signor Grumpy did not serenade us but he did shout back and forth in Italian to the other 50 gondolas and their drivers we saw during our 30 minute tour. 

We are now down to our last five days with Ravenna, Italy tomorrow. Toby and my brother, Matthew are heading off on their own to tour the Ferrari factory. I am praying that they do NOT come home with a “souvenir”. :)

Day 19: Salerno, Pompeii, and Sorrento, Italy or “Mutiny on the Brilliance of the Seas”

July 5: Salerno, Pompeii, and Sorrento, Italy

When faced with another ten hour tour to Pompeii and Sorrento, the four McDonell boys staged a “vacation intervention” for the mom and explained that their very mental health was dependent on NOT getting within 50 yards of a bus for at least the next 48 hours. You may think I was upset but in actuality I totally understood. There was a LOT of learning happening on these tours and their shriveled “summer brains” were being damaged with too much education.

I set off at 7:20am with my mom, Caroll, Matt, and Jordan for the tour while Toby and the young male contingent slept until late in the morning and then wandered as far as the beach before coming back to the ship and relaxing a bit more. 

Wow! Pompeii was astonishing! As a total anthropology and ancient history geek, it was the most amazing thing I have ever seen! Even though we felt like we were in the seventh circle of hell with the temperature and very little shade, the amount of history that I tried to visually and intellectually digest in 90 minutes would have fried my children’s circuits. I have no words… except to say that if my teaching partner, Janet Taylor was there with me, we would have been squealing like fan girls at every single thing. I did manage to restrain myself but it was close. :)

Next up was a trip to the charming little village of Sorrento. Toby would have loved this part… if he could have taken a helicopter to get there. The tiny narrow streets and citrus fruit everywhere made me want to kick up my feet and consume a vat of Limoncello…. so I did! Did you know there are several types of this tasty (and viciously potent!) beverage? Well, yes, yes there are, and I have tried MANY if you would like my opinion on which is best. Let me just find my way off the floor.

Our final destination was a working farm where we saw how olive oil is produced by hand, as well as how both mozzarella and ricotta cheese is made… also by hand. The family that owns and runs the farm has done this for three generations. My sister-in-law, Caroll now wants her own cow so she can make cheese. I think I would just like to visit and eat the cheese. AND, guess what else they grow on the most beautiful farm in the world overlooking the coast of Italy? Lemons! AND do you know what they make with their lemons? YES! Limoncello! Not wanting to be rude, I felt it was my duty to taste their items and sample their tasty beverages. Selfish, I am not. (A bit sick at this point but still being my generous altruistic self!) 

In our Limoncello haze, Caroll and I forgot our wallets on the bus but our tour director “Cindy”, seeing our despair over the inability to purchase vital libations, came to our rescue and spotted us some Euros to make our purchase. Now THIS is my kind of tour guide! Needless to say, Cindy got a great review (and her money back of course!) No throwing the Italian from the bus! They know what’s important!

Back at the ship, I could barely stay awake for dinner. (I am certain it was all the walking I did!) Fortunately we have a “Sea Day” tomorrow as we cruise up the Adriatic towards Venice so we can all regroup and rest in preparation for the next half of our journey.

Of course, although I posted this already, I must include the “Nana Bonanza” that occurred last night and was completed today. We had heard about a raffle that if you went to the casino and played, you would be given a raffle ticket. The winner of the raffle would be upgraded to a fancy suite. Toby and I are not gamblers so we sort of ignored it BUT JENSEN was on the idea from the get go, to the point that, when dinner was over, he forced any adult who would listen to him to go to the casino. Nana to the rescue. She only plays the slots but figured she would humor the grandchild. Jensen and I head back to the room where I fall into bed and he falls into his iPad. An hour later Nana shows up at our state room laughing and says, “guess who won the suite?” ARE YOU KIDDING ME?????? Yes, Nana won…. which means that BAILEY also won. Jensen was so excited, he got dressed and ran around the ship to find everyone and tell them… even Toby and Riley who were in the movie theater watching a film were not spared from his glee. The room became hers after our shore excursion and the room attendants even helped them pack and move their luggage! Bailey is now gloating over his GOLD keycard and the fact that they not only have a doorbell but a HUGE sitting room and a bathroom that was as big as our entire flat in Paris! 

Tomorrow will be nice and relaxing and I plan to wake up at noon…. and then spend the day at Nana’s suite. :)

Day 18: Rome, Italy or "Jensen, a taxi ride is NOT a Rome attraction!"

July 4: Rome

It was... challenging to get the boys out of bed this morning. Instead of acting like we were taking them to see some of the most amazing historical sites in the world, it was like we were asking them to  crawl across beds of needles while eating copious amounts of lima beans. It is ROME people! The Spanish Steps! Trevi Fountain! The Coliseum! Get your dirty clothes on and stagger to the bus... stat! I am fairly certain that Bailey spent the short walk to the bus (Yes! Another bus!) semi-conscious as he immediately passed out again once in his seat for the duration of the drive to Rome.

The tour we took was called "Rome in a day.  It was more like Rome in four hours and make sure you hit all the things that are closed first, just to set the tone for your kids.... who are already whining about the day.

We were dropped of right at the Coliseum and it was totally amazing of course... and just the tiniest bit crowded, with like a billion people! Jensen, Nana and I found a nice shady spot on a broken column and observed the massive structure and the surge of humanity that flowed by us while everyone else walked around the Forum and Palantine Hill. According to the comments from the boys, they thought it was totally impressive so I was surprised when we sat down and Riley says, "I'm really disappointed." Really? The coliseum was DISAPPOINTING? When I asked him, his response was this: "Oh! The coliseum was awesome. I am just totally disappointed that not a single person tried to pickpocket me. I mentioned rather LOUDLY several times 'these 4,000 euros in my pockets sure are weighing me down' but nothing. I expected so much more from the thieves and gypsies."

Ummm, okay. Apparently my stories from my own travels about the hordes of children and groups of gypsies were quite interesting to Riley. I just had no idea that the potential of being robbed would surpass the view of the actual COLISEUM! If he was so excited to be mugged, I could have arranged that in San Francisco!

Our next stop was Piazza de Popolo where we would have a quick jaunt over to several things on my "must see" list for the family, starting with the Spanish Steps. As we came up to them the first thing I noticed was that there appeared to be no people on them. As we got closer I saw the ropes and realized that is was closed and not super impressive looking like that. Okay. Fine! Not to worry! On to Trevi Fountain! This is my favorite place to sit and relax. Our friends the Hollands were just there the night before and posted awesome photos so I was super excited for Bailey to be able to take some. As we neared the fountain I thought I saw more fences... but no. That is not possible. Anna was just here last night. I SAW THE PICTURES! Agh!!!!! Not only was the whole damn fountain gated off with chain link fence but it was DRY! TOTALLY DRY! By this time I was becoming concerned that my family may stage a mutiny so I made one last suggestion... the Pantheon! Let's go see that!

By the time we dragged our sweaty selves down to the Pantheon, NO ONE was impressed. Until they spotted a GYPSY WOMAN! The outing was saved by a potential criminal wearing a black dress and a head scarf! Thank goodness! The final saving moment came when Nana suggested we take cabs back to the square. I have never seen Jensen so excited to enter a vehicle!

We made one last stop at the Vatican which was totally lost on my kids so we left Toby to go in and we headed to eat some pasta. When in doubt, offer food. It seems to do the trick.  Tomorrow we are supposed to see "a bunch of dead people" in Pompeii and I am thinking that perhaps a re-evaluation of the day is in order.

Day 17: Florence, Italy or "Can you turn up the heat please? 85 degrees and 75% humidity is a bit tame for us California types."

July 3: Florence, Italy

Well, I did not want to dismember this bus driver. That is a big improvement from yesterday. In fact, she was sort of like a stern school teacher who told us that if we were not on the bus at the meeting time, she WOULD be leaving us. Yes! I love this woman! Not a big sense of humor on Ms. Isabella but she don't take s*$t from anyone! As Riley said, "Fall behind, left behind... am I right mom?" Yes. Yes you are.

We had an hour and a half ride from the port of Livorno to Florence where Isabella and her "lollipop" (that is what they actually call that STUPID sign that I always make fun of that the tour guides hold up.... Yes. I AM that tourist now... hanging my head in shame but VERY aware of where said lollipop is at any moment!) left us to our own devices for TWO AND A HALF HOURS. In Florence. Okay. This will not be a marathon day, it will be a sprint... in the sun... speaking little Italian... with 10 people... did I mention that it was FREAKIN' hot????

We managed to see St. Croce (gelato stop), Ponte Vecchio bridge (lunch and vino stop) and many many statues with strangely small "private parts" according to my boys. I almost launched into a short (but valuable!) lecture on art history and the perception of large penises in sculpture back then and the different ideas on why almost all statues from this time period had the same "modest" proportions... but figured why prolong ANY discussion about penises with my children? It would only end with frustration for me because all they would do is make jokes and create new and even more outlandish reasons for the tiny things. Let's move on to the gelato again, okay boys? Yes!

I truly think the best part of the day was at our lunch. We were at a cool pizzeria down a small alley near the Ponte Vecchio. It was really busy and there was only one waiter. We happened to be seated near his prep station. At one point he came running back, poured a water glass full of wine, slammed it down in one gulp and took off again for the next table! We were very impressed. That is how we do "coffee breaks" in Italy! Oh. Yeh!

We made it back to the bus for the trip back to the ship and everyone one the bus must have come down with Italian sleeping sickness because I have several photos of the entire back of the bus catching flies and making scary noises.

We are off to Rome tomorrow which will be awesome but at the mention of the phrase "bus tour" my children have started developing twitches and emitting undesirable whining sounds. I think they are reaching maximum capacity for all day sight seeing trips. Let's hope they make it through Rome... in a day! No pressure!

Day 16: Royal Caribbean Tour #1: Nice & St. Paul de Vence or "Look quick kids! There goes Nice!"

June 2: Ville Franche, France en route to Florence, Italy

(Disclaimer: Blogs for the time being will be photo-free. The wifi on the ship is NOT up to my standards!)

Today was our first of MANY scheduled tours. We didn’t dock but had to be tendered (makes me feel like a cow for some reason) to shore in small boats. The good news: The tiny town of Ville Franche where we dropped anchor was super cute. The bad news: Every single person apparently wanted to get off the ship at the same time…. OH! NOW I really feel like a member of a herd of cattle!

We made our way to our tour group that was to take us to Nice and a cool walled city in the hills called St. Paul de Vence. I should have been tipped off immediately that this would be a challenging experience when the little lady who was our tour leader seemed a bit dingy and giggled after everything she said. I am NOT a big fan of gigglers. The entire experience was so ludicrous that it ended up being funny. (Not too funny of course that I am not busting out a "constructive comment card" on this one!)

Picture this: It is the first excursion for 42 people (yes, I am quite certain it was EXACTLY 42 people as you will see) on what should be an amazing day in France. Madame Giggly (as she will for referred to from here on) stood at the door to the bus and collected our tickets as we ENTERED the bus.  We are all excited and getting sort of restless as the other buses seem to be pulling out before us. M. Giggly is muttering to herself in French and appears confused and agitated. I have snagged a front seat because buses are not my favorite mode of transport given my tendency to vomit. :) Mme. Giggly FINALLY gets on the microphone and says that we have 42 people on the bus but she only has 41 tickets. We can not leave until she gets the 42nd ticket! 

Are you F*$!ing kidding me? She took the damn tickets as we entered. She knows we all paid (a horrific amount I might add!) and WE WANT TO GO NOW! She truly is bewildered as to how to remedy this situation even though we helpfully pointed out to her that each ticket has our name on it. Perhaps she can check them off AS WE DRIVE?????? But noo.... she makes us sit there for 30 minutes while she works out the missing ticket. By now, the FORTY-TWO people are pissed and it just gets better when the bus zips by the coastal town of Nice with a comment, "and this is Nice" from Mme. Giggler. No stopping in Nice. Okay. Let's continue to the walled city. That looked awesome. We spend the trip up to the village listening to her drone on and on and ON AND ON about things that are 1: Not interesting and 2: Difficult to decipher. Yes, I DO know I am in France and they speak french but we all (42 of us!) were on an English speaking tour so, not super helpful when you can barely understand your guide.

And then Giggler passes out to each of us, a little radio thing and an ear bud to wear so we can HEAR HER WHILE WE ARE EXPLORING THE VILLAGE. Um. No thank you. I think I may stab myself in the eye with a fork if I have to listen to her even when I can not see her! As soon as we were out of view, we tossed the little radios into our bags and took off to walk the tiny cobbled streets of St. Paul de Vence. SOOOOO cute! I wish we could have stayed longer but we needed to head back to the bus for our next round of torture. 

We are all back on the bus... well 38 of us are. The last tender boat leaves at 6:00 and we all figured we can spend some time wandering around the little port town Ville Franche before we go back to the ship. (You know this is not going to go as planned right?)

Mme. Giggler tells us we are missing four people. Let me just say that it has been made VERY clear MULTIPLE times that if you miss your meeting time, you find your own way back to the port. We are already 15 minutes past and she will not leave! There are some rumblings from the middle of the bus where Bailey and Matt are sitting with other people that perhaps we need to commandeer the bus. SO, 30 minutes later, as we are now all LITERALLY yelling at her, Giggler sees our missing people coming. The best part of that was that there were FIVE and we ended up taking an extra person back to the port! WTF? The tickets are only important one way? Not like I wanted to sit for another stinking minute in the bus anyway. BUT the REALLY BEST BEST PART was that she got us on the road back so late we were stuck in traffic and road work and made it to the tender at 5:59pm! Super fun! 

Not to end on a negative note, I want to give a shout out to Toby who refused to be brought down by this. He ran from the bus, stripped down to his undies and raced into the Mediterranean for a quick swim! Granted, he was one of the last 10 people to make it onto the ship before it pulled up the anchor but he did it!

Tomorrow we are stopping in Livorno and taking a tour to Florence. I am going to pre-screen our tour guide before I enter the bus. Stay tuned.

Day 15: Barcelona to Nice or "Chillin' with Nana watching the world float by"

July 1: Barcelona

What does it say about you as a traveler if there are more suitcases than humans in your party? Apparently for us it says, “you must need TWO vehicles to take you to the port”. The transfer from luggage toting family touring on busses, trains and by foot to “just leave all your luggage here and we will take care of it for you” was… quite easy! We boarded the Royal Caribbean Brilliance of the Seas about noon and headed right for a nice air conditioned restaurant with walls of windows. The children discovered the soft-serve ice cream machine and began what was to be a record breaking consumption quest. (More on that later.)

Wow! The food. Not only the HUMONGOUS quantities of it but the presentation of things I had never seen and would also never eat (“Mushy Peas” was an actual offering… no thank you!) was staggering. British food connoisseur? Gotcha. Gluten-Free? Got it. Vegetarian? No problem. Only eat sugar and dessert items for every meal? No worries. There is an entire barge of sugar to choose from here! 

Once we checked into our cabin we headed up to the lifeboat drill. Now I have been on several cruises with “Advenutures with Nana” and every single time we had to line up outside the ship in tight little formations facing our life boats…. NOT this time! Somehow Nana (I KNOW IT MUST HAVE BEEN HER) managed to wrangle us into a lifeboat area where we were not only inside the air conditioned ship but in the BAR LOUNGE! No lie! Our “emergency seats” are ten feet from the beer taps and cocktails! I think I may have several emergencies a day!

Shortly after our “very stressful” lifeboat drill, the boys and I found two self-leveling pool tables in a virtually empty club at the rear of the ship. While the rest of our cruise companions stood on the top deck sweating and waving goodbye to people they don’t even know, we played pool, drank margaritas, and enjoyed an amazing view of Barcelona fading in the distance from the comfort of several club chairs in the deserted stern area with a full glass wall. THANK YOU NANA!

Dinner for us is now at 9:00 each night and while that is my bedtime in Los Altos, it looks and feels like 5:30 here so it works out fine! We had time to swim, play mini golf, wander the ship, and unpack… all before dinner. You know what else there was time for before dinner? Time enough for the four kids (Riley, Jensen, Jordan, and Logan) to consume TWENTY-TWO ice cream cones in a span of about 5 hours. Logan, my nephew, is currently the reining dairy king with 11 to his name! It really was not a shock that they did not eat much dinner, and even passed on the dessert. Fortunately, we have not seen any “digestive” issues and we will encourage perhaps a small serving of something “fiber rich” to start tomorrow!

Day 14: Barcelona or "Art... in all its many forms..."

June 30: Barcelona

It seems that the multiple drugs and family exorcism worked and I feel better. Still not great but I am up and moving! Things to do! Places to go! Cappuccinos to drink!

We have now started three of our four mornings here at a tiny cafe called "The Petit Princep" (The Little Prince). There is something for every person to love: REALLY amazing espresso, the most beautiful Nutella pancakes on earth and a simple but delicious sandwich called a "bikini" that we order in sets of 5 to keep at the apartment. The owner sees us coming and now laughs as we order as much to "take away" as we do while seated. Little does he know, half of us are still asleep at the house!

Add caption

We took the first part of the day off from sightseeing and repacked, did laundry... you know, all those really fun things that go with traveling for a month. Our afternoon activities were diverse to say the least. Half of us got tickets to explore the inside of the Gaudi designed church, "La Sagrada Familia" while the sport lovers made the pilgrimage to the FC Barcelona stadium. I believe my sister-in-law Caroll said it was a "religious experience" for the fütból loving boys (and a darling Jordan!).

After both these "spiritual" adventures, Toby, Jerremy and I took off for Barrio Gothic for the Picasso museum that was the ONE thing Toby really wanted to see. Bummer for him that most of the work in the collection was from his pre-cubism days and that is the stuff Toby really loves. I love air conditioning and Toby so it was a win-win for me!

SUPER exited he decided to
go with his parents to the
chuch 

He is about
4 feet tall too!

We strolled the super narrow streets of the quarter looking at the (amazing) graffiti and other (interesting) art displays. This guy (left) was everywhere and I am not sure WHAT he was trying to sell as he sat stationed outside stores doing his business. I sure hope it wasn't ice cream.

The entire crew met at a restaurant and had what was arguably the best meal we have had in Barcelona. The final activity of the evening was that the teenagers and the cool adults (which means NOT me) headed to some crazy skateboard ramp bar, aptly named, "NEVERMIND", in the Gothic Quarter while the rest of us went home to try and get to bed before midnight for once.... did NOT happen BTW.

Jerremy and Toby
in the Gothic Quarter

Spray paint on a garage door

Tomorrow we board the ship and start our cruise. As I was repacking I had a moment of clarity that I only packed enough underwear for everyone for 5 days as I rented places with washers.... but we don't have washing machines on the TWO WEEK cruise! Ha! Oh well! Commando will be a nice cool alternative I guess! :)

Day #13: Barcelona or "Can sangria cure all illness?"

June 29: Barcelona

Morning
"coffee" and the "paper"

Ugh. This is going to be short because I spent most of my 24 hours today in bed. I am trying to ignore the fact that I can't really breath, I have a very attractive Typhoid Mary cough and I sound like I have been chain smoking since birth. Super Toby went to the pharmacia and managed to gesture and Spanglish his way to getting me some meds so hopefully I am on my way to better days! This was NOT in my scheduled trip itinerary! I am a TOTAL planner and this is NOT part of my plan!

Pre-Prophylactic Discovery

Before I tapped out, we had decided to divide and conquer today with the male contingent heading to the beach (with Princess Emily Holland) and the girls (and Jerremy Holland as our token testosterone) heading to the market. Aside from Bailey getting totally sunburned and VERY FEW photos being taken, I heard it was quite fun. The boys did flips of the rocks at Playa Barceloneta, got yelled at by the Spanish coastguard, played soccer and volleyball, and, in a most disgusting turn of events, discovered several condoms floating in the water. (Please feel free to dry heave at this time:)

La Boqueria offerings... only a few!

Spices!

At the polar opposite of the disgusting spectrum was La Boqueria! Oh. My. Gawd. It was incredible! Everything there was gorgeous and fresh and.... just wow! They had really interesting foods for sale in little "newspaper" cones so of course we had to try the whole shrimp and octopus, freshly juiced fruit of every color of the rainbow, and pretty much anything you could ever desire on the food spectrum.... unless you are SUPER into processed and chemically enhanced food, then you are out of luck here!

Juices!

Me and a few of the nursemaids. 

And.... that is where I fell apart. Apparently the elixir  that Toby acquired for me had a little cocktail of codeine with whatever medicinal properties it contained and I was down for the count. I woke up a few times as the rest of my people transitioned from dinner to bar hopping and again as they all gathered at my bedside at 1:00am force feeding me inhalers, cough drops, more codeine, and water.... all while giggling. I had no idea my illness was so humorous. I'm sure in part was the fact that they were circling my bed in the "church room" like some sort of religious ritual, performed by drunken adults. Good times for all.

Tomorrow is our last day in Barcelona before we leave on Nana's FEATURED trip, a two week Mediterranean cruise. I still have a small list to accomplish now that I feel moderately well, so off I go!

Day 12: Barcelona, Spain or "My love affair with an air conditioned bus"

June 28: Barcelona, Spain

Okay! Another day and my last "official" planned excursion: a FULL day tour of Barcelona for 22 people (Badgleys, Hollands, Faurots, Zdepskis, and the McDonells). I worked with Julia from the tour company to create a custom tour since it was just our group. Our itinerary for this glorious 9:00-5:00pm day of fun and learning:

REALLY loving listening
 to the tour guide

La Sagrada Familia- Crazy (and still incomplete) Gaudi designed church
Park Guell- Meticulously planned and incredibly advanced for his time Gaudi designed park
Las Ramblas/La Boqueria- The most amazing and fascinating food market I could ever conceive of!
Mountjuïc- Literally means "Jewish Mountain" that was built up with lots of venues for the '92 Olympics
The fütból stadium- Yay. If it was playing season I am fearful we may have had to attend a game :)
Olympic swimming pool
Cultural Museum
The SUPER cool Gaudi houses
An old bullfighting ring (that is now, of course, a MASSIVE mall)

The top of Mounjuïc

It was the BEST choice. Our tour guide, Macarena (Yes. Seriously. That was her name :) was incredibly informative and interesting. We had a brand new luxury bus that had to have well over 50 seats. As there were "only" 22 of us, the adults congregated in the front to catch every fascinating detail Macarena had to share with us, while the teen contingent put as much space as possible between us and them in the back two rows. With every stop I appreciated our bus more and more. It was a cooling beacon calling mama home after a lap around beautiful Parc Guell or a (very) short hike from the air conditioned doorway to see the view from the top of Moutjuïc. It would be dishonest if I said I did not gaze at the sweaty (and visibly grumpy) tourists traveling in packs up the steeper hills and settle myself a bit more comfortably in my cushy seat while being SO grateful we were NOT them. (Insert MAJOR applause for Nana again, as she funded our part of this excursion!)

"Napping Medicine"

This crossed the entire
WIDTH of the table!

I could not say one thing that was "way" better than another but our lunch sure was memorable! Shockingly, the teenagers took off on their own for lunch with one working cell phone between the five of them, while the rest of us headed to a great little restaurant near La Boqueria. It was hot and my brother ordered a "large beer" and lo and behold, a LARGE beer did he get! Not to be outdone, Toby and Jerremy also had one. I could sense the bus nap coming as soon as the VATS of cerveza were set in front of them! They say that we like BIG food in America but HOLY COW! This was the seafood platter for TWO! And the size of the straws! My brother started calling them "spitball snipers" and the kids could not get enough of them! Fun for everyone!

Ignore me...
Check out those straws!

We returned back to our respective rentals, relaxed with a lovely beer called DAMM LEMON and headed out again for dinner at the beach... this time with only 19 people. :)

Dinner at "The Crazy Crab"

Dinner was great and we had lots and lots and lots of authentic Spanish foods and some Spanish twists on home favorites like margaritas and mojitos. By 10:00 we were stuffed and ready to give birth to some Spanish food babies so we headed by multiple taxis back to our places. Overall, a very good day with very good friends!

Day 11: Beynac-Perpignan-Barcelona or "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles... but no planes."

June 27: Barcelona

Well, I would love to look back on this entry and fondly reminisce about the myriad of fun activities we did this day.... but that would be a lie... unless by "fun" you mean traveling from 9:00am-5:00pm through MANY towns (mostly super cute) and MANY MANY toll roads. And let me just stop a moment to "reminisce" about the OUTRAGEOUS toll costs that seem to have no pattern or logic whatsoever! In the course of our first FOUR hour drive we had three toll roads that ranged in cost from $3.50 to more than $20.00! And it does NOT take credit cards! Who carries that much cash? Well, tourists, but if I actually lived here, I would be in deep trouble!

After Toby mistakenly thought the SMALL French roads were personal autobahn courses and literally took 45 minutes off our travel time (and I removed my fingernails from the arm rest), we arrived at the unfortunately named town of Perpignan at the French/Spain border. We had a few tense moments of "National Lampoon's European Vacation", and managed to get to the rental car place on our third try around the block. The Swagger Wagon Peugeot was safely delivered to its dreary little cave-like garage and the boys (for some inane reason) really wanted to have a competition to see who could fill up a water bottle with the most "personal lemonade". They then proceeded to marvel at their peeing prowess until I told them to get rid of it! (They considered leaving it and perhaps someone would think it was a real drink! WHO DOES THAT KIND OF THING??? Oh. My kids. Of course.)

The train from Pig to Barcelona (which was still high-speed AND first class BTW) had NO wifi (insert gasp of outrage here x 3 kids) so the boys had to spend the ENTIRE HOUR on the train... no, NOT looking out the window OR talking to their  family... they had to play games OFF-LINE! Oh! The horror of it all! I am surprised that CPS -Barcelona was not called on me!


All ended well as we were now transitioning to what my kids call "a Nana trip" where everything is totally decadent, compliments of Nana. Bailey was moderately pleased that we were greeted by a driver with our name (well, MY name actually) on a card and I suspect he had limo dreams until we got to, yes! Another mini van! It was a smooth trip to the coolest apartment we have stayed in yet (again, I refer to this next part being a "Nana Trip"). My brother Matt, his wife Caroll, two kids Logan and Jordan, and my mom (Nana) were already waiting for us. As we entered, I was informed by my brother that he felt that we would be happiest sleeping is what he called "The Human Sacrifice Room". I think that it must have been some sort of personal temple or sanctuary or something long ago. It even has the little dish carved from the stone wall that you would typically see holy water in as you enter a church. It is a bit over the top but super unique!

We finished off the evening on the back veranda trying to keep the rest of our family awake to help them with the jet lag from arriving earlier that day, and actually getting to bed ourselves before 11:00pm for once. Tomorrow we have our tour with TWENTY-TWO people! All of us know each other from home so it should be a great time!

Day 10: Beynac and Padriac France or "Road trip with the frat boys..."

June 26: Beynac and Padriac, France

The initial descent!

 NO one wanted to get up at my scheduled time this morning. We had things to do! Of course I could not yell because my voice mysteriously all but disappeared yesterday. So I LITERALLY can not speak above a whisper. The boys all make fun of me now and call me Nagini (Voldemort's snake)and I have resorted to clapping, gesturing wildly and stamping my feet to get their attention, which makes me look like a 40(ish) year old having a tantrum or looking mentally ill.

An "illegal" photo of the cavern.

Of course we had to look ridiculous!

Neither is a good look on me.

 The early wake up this morning was because I had made reservations for all 14 of us to take a REALLY amazing tour of the Gouffe de Padriac Caves. And was it ever amazing! No photos were allowed but the McDonell boys kept "forgetting" and snapping shots. We took stairs and elevators WAY down under the earth into a HUGE cavern and even got a boat tour through an underground river to see crazy rock formations! It was well worth the hour drive to get there!

 Afterwards, we had lunch and the boys played tag in a little park across the street. As I walked over to check on them, three of them literally fell out of the trees in front of me! I calmly explained that a trip to a French Emergency Room would NOT be fun for anyone. So... they climbed right back up in the trees and told me they would be fine... famous last words...

Lord of the Flies: Actor #1

Lord of the Flies: Actor #2

We headed back to our respective houses with the plan to meet at the Faurot's rented house that has a salt water pool. Toby, Cheryl, and Chris Reinking took off to hike to the castle and I delivered bathing suits and miscellaneous boys to Sarlat, the next town over. As I was pulling into the driveway I was attacked by the cast from Lord of the Flies: The Next Generation. Although they made me scream as they dropped from the trees and came running at me half naked, I was thinking"tech free" days are one of the best "side effects" of this trip. The McDonell boys have not interacted with each other (verbally and not just using the same Minecraft server)so much in years... and sadly, I am not exaggerating (much).They 8 of them (ages 10-18) played tag,swam, played more tag, caught bugs, and just were BOYS for an entire day.

Swimming at the "Faurot Chateau"

The fourteen of us travelled by foot en mass down to the little town of Sarlat and had yet another great meal of pizza, salad, and yes, more foie gras that I could never eat again and be very happy. Not only do I think it totally tastes like liverwurst from my childhood, but how can anyone eat something that has been tortured like that? So wrong.

The 8 boys, of course, played tag in the streets and alleys of the town square and only stopped when it was dark and we mentioned "glace". Everyone stops for ice cream! We walked back to the Faurot's very cool house, said farewell to the Reinkings, and took off for our farm for the last night. If I ever come to France again, I will FOR SURE spend more time here in Beynac. I wish I could have canoed down the river and walked around the small villages more. We are off to Barcelona tomorrow to meet my mom, my brother and his family, the Hollands, and the Faurots too! Barcelona welcomes Los Altos!