Day #13: Barcelona or "Can sangria cure all illness?"

June 29: Barcelona

Morning
"coffee" and the "paper"

Ugh. This is going to be short because I spent most of my 24 hours today in bed. I am trying to ignore the fact that I can't really breath, I have a very attractive Typhoid Mary cough and I sound like I have been chain smoking since birth. Super Toby went to the pharmacia and managed to gesture and Spanglish his way to getting me some meds so hopefully I am on my way to better days! This was NOT in my scheduled trip itinerary! I am a TOTAL planner and this is NOT part of my plan!

Pre-Prophylactic Discovery

Before I tapped out, we had decided to divide and conquer today with the male contingent heading to the beach (with Princess Emily Holland) and the girls (and Jerremy Holland as our token testosterone) heading to the market. Aside from Bailey getting totally sunburned and VERY FEW photos being taken, I heard it was quite fun. The boys did flips of the rocks at Playa Barceloneta, got yelled at by the Spanish coastguard, played soccer and volleyball, and, in a most disgusting turn of events, discovered several condoms floating in the water. (Please feel free to dry heave at this time:)

La Boqueria offerings... only a few!

Spices!

At the polar opposite of the disgusting spectrum was La Boqueria! Oh. My. Gawd. It was incredible! Everything there was gorgeous and fresh and.... just wow! They had really interesting foods for sale in little "newspaper" cones so of course we had to try the whole shrimp and octopus, freshly juiced fruit of every color of the rainbow, and pretty much anything you could ever desire on the food spectrum.... unless you are SUPER into processed and chemically enhanced food, then you are out of luck here!

Juices!

Me and a few of the nursemaids. 

And.... that is where I fell apart. Apparently the elixir  that Toby acquired for me had a little cocktail of codeine with whatever medicinal properties it contained and I was down for the count. I woke up a few times as the rest of my people transitioned from dinner to bar hopping and again as they all gathered at my bedside at 1:00am force feeding me inhalers, cough drops, more codeine, and water.... all while giggling. I had no idea my illness was so humorous. I'm sure in part was the fact that they were circling my bed in the "church room" like some sort of religious ritual, performed by drunken adults. Good times for all.

Tomorrow is our last day in Barcelona before we leave on Nana's FEATURED trip, a two week Mediterranean cruise. I still have a small list to accomplish now that I feel moderately well, so off I go!

Day 12: Barcelona, Spain or "My love affair with an air conditioned bus"

June 28: Barcelona, Spain

Okay! Another day and my last "official" planned excursion: a FULL day tour of Barcelona for 22 people (Badgleys, Hollands, Faurots, Zdepskis, and the McDonells). I worked with Julia from the tour company to create a custom tour since it was just our group. Our itinerary for this glorious 9:00-5:00pm day of fun and learning:

REALLY loving listening
 to the tour guide

La Sagrada Familia- Crazy (and still incomplete) Gaudi designed church
Park Guell- Meticulously planned and incredibly advanced for his time Gaudi designed park
Las Ramblas/La Boqueria- The most amazing and fascinating food market I could ever conceive of!
Mountjuïc- Literally means "Jewish Mountain" that was built up with lots of venues for the '92 Olympics
The fütból stadium- Yay. If it was playing season I am fearful we may have had to attend a game :)
Olympic swimming pool
Cultural Museum
The SUPER cool Gaudi houses
An old bullfighting ring (that is now, of course, a MASSIVE mall)

The top of Mounjuïc

It was the BEST choice. Our tour guide, Macarena (Yes. Seriously. That was her name :) was incredibly informative and interesting. We had a brand new luxury bus that had to have well over 50 seats. As there were "only" 22 of us, the adults congregated in the front to catch every fascinating detail Macarena had to share with us, while the teen contingent put as much space as possible between us and them in the back two rows. With every stop I appreciated our bus more and more. It was a cooling beacon calling mama home after a lap around beautiful Parc Guell or a (very) short hike from the air conditioned doorway to see the view from the top of Moutjuïc. It would be dishonest if I said I did not gaze at the sweaty (and visibly grumpy) tourists traveling in packs up the steeper hills and settle myself a bit more comfortably in my cushy seat while being SO grateful we were NOT them. (Insert MAJOR applause for Nana again, as she funded our part of this excursion!)

"Napping Medicine"

This crossed the entire
WIDTH of the table!

I could not say one thing that was "way" better than another but our lunch sure was memorable! Shockingly, the teenagers took off on their own for lunch with one working cell phone between the five of them, while the rest of us headed to a great little restaurant near La Boqueria. It was hot and my brother ordered a "large beer" and lo and behold, a LARGE beer did he get! Not to be outdone, Toby and Jerremy also had one. I could sense the bus nap coming as soon as the VATS of cerveza were set in front of them! They say that we like BIG food in America but HOLY COW! This was the seafood platter for TWO! And the size of the straws! My brother started calling them "spitball snipers" and the kids could not get enough of them! Fun for everyone!

Ignore me...
Check out those straws!

We returned back to our respective rentals, relaxed with a lovely beer called DAMM LEMON and headed out again for dinner at the beach... this time with only 19 people. :)

Dinner at "The Crazy Crab"

Dinner was great and we had lots and lots and lots of authentic Spanish foods and some Spanish twists on home favorites like margaritas and mojitos. By 10:00 we were stuffed and ready to give birth to some Spanish food babies so we headed by multiple taxis back to our places. Overall, a very good day with very good friends!

Day 11: Beynac-Perpignan-Barcelona or "Planes, Trains, and Automobiles... but no planes."

June 27: Barcelona

Well, I would love to look back on this entry and fondly reminisce about the myriad of fun activities we did this day.... but that would be a lie... unless by "fun" you mean traveling from 9:00am-5:00pm through MANY towns (mostly super cute) and MANY MANY toll roads. And let me just stop a moment to "reminisce" about the OUTRAGEOUS toll costs that seem to have no pattern or logic whatsoever! In the course of our first FOUR hour drive we had three toll roads that ranged in cost from $3.50 to more than $20.00! And it does NOT take credit cards! Who carries that much cash? Well, tourists, but if I actually lived here, I would be in deep trouble!

After Toby mistakenly thought the SMALL French roads were personal autobahn courses and literally took 45 minutes off our travel time (and I removed my fingernails from the arm rest), we arrived at the unfortunately named town of Perpignan at the French/Spain border. We had a few tense moments of "National Lampoon's European Vacation", and managed to get to the rental car place on our third try around the block. The Swagger Wagon Peugeot was safely delivered to its dreary little cave-like garage and the boys (for some inane reason) really wanted to have a competition to see who could fill up a water bottle with the most "personal lemonade". They then proceeded to marvel at their peeing prowess until I told them to get rid of it! (They considered leaving it and perhaps someone would think it was a real drink! WHO DOES THAT KIND OF THING??? Oh. My kids. Of course.)

The train from Pig to Barcelona (which was still high-speed AND first class BTW) had NO wifi (insert gasp of outrage here x 3 kids) so the boys had to spend the ENTIRE HOUR on the train... no, NOT looking out the window OR talking to their  family... they had to play games OFF-LINE! Oh! The horror of it all! I am surprised that CPS -Barcelona was not called on me!


All ended well as we were now transitioning to what my kids call "a Nana trip" where everything is totally decadent, compliments of Nana. Bailey was moderately pleased that we were greeted by a driver with our name (well, MY name actually) on a card and I suspect he had limo dreams until we got to, yes! Another mini van! It was a smooth trip to the coolest apartment we have stayed in yet (again, I refer to this next part being a "Nana Trip"). My brother Matt, his wife Caroll, two kids Logan and Jordan, and my mom (Nana) were already waiting for us. As we entered, I was informed by my brother that he felt that we would be happiest sleeping is what he called "The Human Sacrifice Room". I think that it must have been some sort of personal temple or sanctuary or something long ago. It even has the little dish carved from the stone wall that you would typically see holy water in as you enter a church. It is a bit over the top but super unique!

We finished off the evening on the back veranda trying to keep the rest of our family awake to help them with the jet lag from arriving earlier that day, and actually getting to bed ourselves before 11:00pm for once. Tomorrow we have our tour with TWENTY-TWO people! All of us know each other from home so it should be a great time!

Day 10: Beynac and Padriac France or "Road trip with the frat boys..."

June 26: Beynac and Padriac, France

The initial descent!

 NO one wanted to get up at my scheduled time this morning. We had things to do! Of course I could not yell because my voice mysteriously all but disappeared yesterday. So I LITERALLY can not speak above a whisper. The boys all make fun of me now and call me Nagini (Voldemort's snake)and I have resorted to clapping, gesturing wildly and stamping my feet to get their attention, which makes me look like a 40(ish) year old having a tantrum or looking mentally ill.

An "illegal" photo of the cavern.

Of course we had to look ridiculous!

Neither is a good look on me.

 The early wake up this morning was because I had made reservations for all 14 of us to take a REALLY amazing tour of the Gouffe de Padriac Caves. And was it ever amazing! No photos were allowed but the McDonell boys kept "forgetting" and snapping shots. We took stairs and elevators WAY down under the earth into a HUGE cavern and even got a boat tour through an underground river to see crazy rock formations! It was well worth the hour drive to get there!

 Afterwards, we had lunch and the boys played tag in a little park across the street. As I walked over to check on them, three of them literally fell out of the trees in front of me! I calmly explained that a trip to a French Emergency Room would NOT be fun for anyone. So... they climbed right back up in the trees and told me they would be fine... famous last words...

Lord of the Flies: Actor #1

Lord of the Flies: Actor #2

We headed back to our respective houses with the plan to meet at the Faurot's rented house that has a salt water pool. Toby, Cheryl, and Chris Reinking took off to hike to the castle and I delivered bathing suits and miscellaneous boys to Sarlat, the next town over. As I was pulling into the driveway I was attacked by the cast from Lord of the Flies: The Next Generation. Although they made me scream as they dropped from the trees and came running at me half naked, I was thinking"tech free" days are one of the best "side effects" of this trip. The McDonell boys have not interacted with each other (verbally and not just using the same Minecraft server)so much in years... and sadly, I am not exaggerating (much).They 8 of them (ages 10-18) played tag,swam, played more tag, caught bugs, and just were BOYS for an entire day.

Swimming at the "Faurot Chateau"

The fourteen of us travelled by foot en mass down to the little town of Sarlat and had yet another great meal of pizza, salad, and yes, more foie gras that I could never eat again and be very happy. Not only do I think it totally tastes like liverwurst from my childhood, but how can anyone eat something that has been tortured like that? So wrong.

The 8 boys, of course, played tag in the streets and alleys of the town square and only stopped when it was dark and we mentioned "glace". Everyone stops for ice cream! We walked back to the Faurot's very cool house, said farewell to the Reinkings, and took off for our farm for the last night. If I ever come to France again, I will FOR SURE spend more time here in Beynac. I wish I could have canoed down the river and walked around the small villages more. We are off to Barcelona tomorrow to meet my mom, my brother and his family, the Hollands, and the Faurots too! Barcelona welcomes Los Altos!

Day 9: Beynac et Ceznac, France or "The velociraptors of France"

June 24: Paris to Beynac et Ceznac

The day started poorly for Toby who used the maps application to locate our rental car. It literally showed that he was standing at the car place but in reality he was in the middle of a lovely park with not a single store front to be seen. Of course, we should have guessed after our metro and underground mall experience that Paris apparently has as many stores underground as they do above! Of course Toby prevailed and eventually pulled up to collect us in a snappy Peugeot mini van! The kids were NOT impressed with our ride but it was nice! Bailey suggested that a limousine would have been a better choice for us. Really? That champagne seems to have impaired you permanently! (I am having a difficult time getting past that... can you tell? :)

After a stressful escape from Paris, we made our way down to the Dordogne, which is about half way between Paris and Barcelona (our next stop). OH. MY. GOODNESS. This is the most beautiful place I have ever seen. There are castles and fancy chateaus in every direction and the village of Beynac is incredibly charming and REALLY old! We stayed about a mile out at a lovely farm house that was quintessential french country.

As we pulled up, we saw a large flock of geese wandering the yard. So cute! Yet NOT cute! They were vicious! Poor Jensen wanted to "pet" the geese and if you can see the video here, it was NOT successful! The boys said they are like the velociraptors of France and we now avoid them like the plague.

That did NOT end well...

The house also had a beautiful pool that looked out at the Beynac Castle. The brothers of Team Testosterone decided to play "The Trust Game" which entails one brother holding another brother's hands as he leans backwards over the pool... TRUSTING that they would not let go and the (not so smart trusting) brother would tumble backwards into the pool. Did I mention that they were ALL wearing clothes at this point. God forbid the put on swimsuits first! I will give you one guess who was the brother that should NEVER have trusted his big brothers.... yep, Jensen. How hard is it for two teenagers to keep hold of a tiny fourth grader!? Needless to say, they were laughing so hard I am surprised they did not pee their pants. Jensen, of course, was NOT laughing but just stayed in the pool in his clothes for the duration of the time (until Riley took his shirt and started wearing it as a head wrap).

Catchin' French Fish

Riley loved that there was a pool and a hot tub and said it really was beautiful outside in the yard but he kept commenting that the house was sort of creepy and he thought "Betty Crockett" was going to murder us in our sleep. I finally had to say, "What in the world are you talking about? Betty Crockett?"

The TINIEST wine glasses in the world!

"Yes! Isn't she the one that killed her parents with an axe?"
"Ummm... NO! That was Lizzy Borden! Betty CROCKER wrote cookbooks and DAVY Crockett was a frontiersman! None of them were murderers to the best of my knowledge!"

After changing out of the wet clothes (and bathing suits for the UNtrustworthy big boys) we headed over to the little town of Beynac where our friends, the Reinkings were staying. The boys bought fishing nets and did some hand fishin' in the Dordogne river while the adults did some wine drinking! Afterwards we had a great dinner at La Petit Tonnelle with both the Reinkings and the Faurots.

The Reinking's abode.
Very modern on the inside!

The last activity of the evening was for the adults to take a walk up the (VERY) steep cobblestone streets to the top while the kids played Spoons in the Reinking's adorable cottage. I would have liked to stay one more day here but we only have tomorrow and then we head off to Barcelona.

Day 8: Paris, France or "How many glasses of champagne do you drink on the Eiffel Tower?"

June 24- Paris

Well the answer to the champagne question is a resounding TWO... and apparently only if the TWO are under 21 and did not spend months planning or paying for this trip! Bailey and Nic managed to find the place on the Eiffel Tower that served champagne, and instead of texting their parents, calling them over, sending smoke signals, morse code.... ANYTHING to let us know we could do that too, they just enjoyed their tasty beverages and took selfies with Bailey's Polaroid. Nice... and I mean that in the most INsincere and bitter way possible!

Aside from the unfair consumption of champagne, the tower was amazing. The only slightly disturbing part was that Riley does not love heights and was chanting, "We are going to die. We are going to die." then entire way up the elevator. NOT recommended conversation on one of the most heavily protected landmarks in the world! We managed to not be stopped by the multiple security checks and saw the awesome view... and then Riley was done. We needed to go down to the next level... and then he was hungry so we had to go down to the bottom to get a snack.... and then, as the adults were planning the lunch excursion, the herd of boys thought it was a great idea to play tag under the Eiffel Tower. It was clearly time to leave at that point.

After another amazing meal, that included me explaining at least 12 times to Jensen that he could NOT take home the whole shrimp body that was on his meal, I was reaching maximum overload. He was quite reasonable and simply informed me we could keep it in a plastic bag until we got home (please insert violent retching noise here...). After physically removing "Bobby"( this is a boy DESPERATE for a pet apparently) from Jensen's clutches, we walked along the Seine and, once again, the boys decided to play tag. At least this time there weren't armed guards looking at them as they ran and leaped over rose bushes and threw each other down on the grass.

As you can imagine, we were perhaps a bit tired at this point of the trip and decided we needed a night just to hang out at our luxury closet, do some laundry in the micro washer and eat somewhere close. We still have about three weeks to go and we don't want to burn out! We ended up eating at a very good Belgian restaurant that served ENORMOUS bowls of mussels which the boys devoured at a frightening pace.
The last activity of the day was a trip down to the river and a walk to Notre Dame for Toby and Riley. Not bad for a day's "work".

Overall, Paris is interesting but WAY TO BUSY and crazy for my taste. Perhaps it was the fact the Euro Cup was being held there at the same time or that it was just summer business or maybe it moves at that frenetic pace all the time... I am looking forward to heading south tomorrow to a tiny little town that, because of my TOTAL lack of French speaking skills, I refer to as "Beyonce Ate A Croissant". (Real name: Beynac et Ceznac)

Day 7: Paris or "No love for the Lourve"

June 23: Paris

After taking my family in the EXACT OPPOSITE direction as we were supposed to go, we still managed to get to the Lourve for our 9:30am entrance time... Of course it did not end well for several reasons. I would say the most anxiety inducing was that Jensen and his buddy Rhys went off and disappeared on the way to see "The Moaning Lisa". When I had finished hyperventilating and cursing myself for not scrawling my phone number on his chest with my Sharpie, they wandered back to us and we proceeded to view the painting. There were not too many people this early but I could hear Jensen audibly sigh in disappointment. I said, "Is the painting smaller than you thought it would be? That is what I thought too the first time I was here." His response, "The painting? Oh. no that's okay. You just told me there were guards around it and even though there are four of them, they are just sitting and talking to each other and none of them have big guns!" Perhaps a military museum would have been a better choice because when A LOT of machine gun clad soldiers came marching down the stairs at the Lourve entrance, I have never seen a child so excited in a museum! Fortunately the only thing it cost us was time because the kids were free. For my 15 euros I was treated to an entire hour of racing though one amazing room to another with the lovely background music in a tone of B "whiner" of "Is this the last room?"

After the children LITERALLY collapsing on the floor of the entrance cafe, we loaded them with a bit of sustenance and went in search of lunch. From there we headed back to our "luxury closet" and tried to regroup and rest with our second showers of the day. (Thank goodness there is no drought here as it is a "three shower a day" city because of the heat and walking around.

Refusing to give up on the metro we managed to get to the Seine boat tour just fine! We had booked a tour with Green River Tours (HIGHLY recommend them!) We had two boats and of course the adult boat came with a barstool bar and two bottles of wine! Woo! Hoo! Best part of the day! It was the perfect way to enjoy an afternoon. Thank goodness for Jessica Founds, as she had the foresight to bring extra wine, french bread, and cheese. I think the teenagers liked it as well but all 6 of them were on the other boat so there was not a single opportunity to complain! Well planned!

After the boat tour we strolled along the river and had an outstanding dinner, again with two tables.... one with the seven adults and another across the restaurant with the 8 kids! I suspect they also prefer it that way.

Tomorrow we head to the Eiffel Tower and our last day in Paris.

Day #6: Brugge-Brussels-Paris or "Friends who are family and Family who are enemies :)"

June 22: Paris, France

SunRISE in Brugge

Wow. What a beautiful sunrise. SUNRISE??
Why am I awake at 4:30am? Jet lag be gone! I did enjoy our last few hours in Brugge with (several) cappuccinos and the view.

We took off without incident or complaint from our Brugge home and made it to Paris in just a few hours thanks to the high speed train and the free wine!

Hello complimentary beverage!

And this is where the charm ends.... for now at least.

We have not been in Paris 24 hours and we have seen the entire city.... from the subway tunnels. WHY is there 14 different exits from each metro station??? And how many floors down does the darn thing go? Last night, no lie, we were on our way home from having dinner and we backtracked the EXACT same way we got there... but where was our exit? It inexplicably was NOT where it was supposed to be when we got off the train! We literally ended up in a horrifyingly large UNDERGROUND shopping mall at 11:30 at night! Of course the maps don't show the gazillion warrens of tunnels under Paris but I am pretty sure we saw most of them.

The Boys (Paul is up in the room:)

Bailey finally took pity on us (and was RAGING PISSED too!) and said, "I am done following you. I am going back to our place", and started walking. Well okay then! Why the heck did you not say anything to us? He literally made a beeline right to our place, marched up the stairs and told us he was going to bed. He hates walking, and, by that point I am pretty sure he hated us too. Sigh. Back to normal in McDonell teen world.

The fun part of the evening was meeting up with the Faurots and the Reinkings, our friends that we spend most weekends with in Los Altos. Why should Europe be any different?! We all arrived from three different places and converged for a great meal and lots of boys. Again, Nic (18) and Bailey (still 16!) ordered beer and drinks. Again, instead of carding them or even asking how old they were, the waiter just asked us "is it alright that they order drinks?" Ummmmm..... yes? At least someone checked... sort of.

Luxury closet: Floor Two

After navigating our way (who am I kidding? I did nothing to help!) out of the bowels of the metro, we returned home to what we fondly refer to as our "luxury closet". I am NOT exaggerating when I say that there is enough space for about 20 of your CLOSEST friends... to stand shoulder to shoulder.
Add to this coziness, 5 suitcases, 5 backpacks and 80 degree temps with no air and we are SUPER HAPPY AND POSITIVE with one another! And I mean that in the most Insincere way possible.:)

Tomorrow we have tickets for the Lourve where Jensen was excited to see "The Moaning Lisa". I shudder to think that perhaps he was thinking that this would be like a Harry Potter type experience and Moaning Lisa was cousin to Moaning Myrtle from the book series. I can smell disappointment in the air already but we are going to the museum dammit! Forced family fun here we come!

Brugge, Belgium: Day #5 or "Odd gifts your children buy you..."

June 20: Brugge, Belgium:

We woke up to rain. But, for some reason, "European Rain" is much better than "American Rain". It's true! The rain here is like a gentle mist with warm air and no wind. Seriously, I could deal with this. Of course we were one of the few people who were using umbrellas as us Americans don't seem to be especially waterproof. :)

We managed the bus seamlessly. How is it that finding our way across a Belgian town where we LITERALLY can't understand a single sign is exponentially easier than trying to get to Cal Train on the bus in San Francisco, even when you have done it before? We may have built our country from European roots, but we sure did not build our transit systems from them!

We strolled the cobblestone streets and had an incredible lunch, complete with the TOTALLY anticlimactic ordering of a beer by Bailey. The waiter did not even give him a second glance, let alone ask for I.D. Bailey must have forgotten (or just hoped WE had!) that he is not legal to drink back home and purchased a shot glass roulette game. Hmmm.... that will look rather nice in OUR bar at home.... he was allowed to test it out though... with apple juice! :)

While Toby, Riley and I were in the Salvador Dali museum, Bailey and Jensen went chocolate  shopping and came back with gifts. Riley got a HUMONGOUS gold coin, I was handed a super cool coffee cup made from chocolate, and Toby's gift was a box of chocolate.... penises. Seriously. Not a set of breasts? But penises? Boys. Welcome to my traveling fraternity house. Poor Jensen. All he wanted were some chocolate covered strawberries. Not a single on to be found so he just made his own. A quick trip to the store for some Belgian chocolate and strawberries and Jensen was in business. Want to guess what Jensen ate for dinner? Yep! TWELVE OF THEM! It is vacation after all!

Five days into our trip and we have perfected the art of "the wifi babysitter". Toby and I found two bikes in the CREEPIEST garage in the world below our apartment. (We were pretty sure every horror movie ever made was filmed there.) After seeing the the gear shift on one was completely broken and the back tire was warped on the other, we gamely took off to ride the streets of Brugge hoping that the bikes would not fall apart in route! We finally stopped our Tour de Brugge about 9:30pm and had a lovely dinner for two in a real Belgian restaurant where we were the only people speaking English and then we tooled home just after sunset which was close to 11:00pm.

Upon returning our bikes to the garage of doom and taking the sketchy elevator up from the basement or horror, we entered the apartment to find the boys calmly sitting on the couch... with three HUGE knives lined up on the kitchen counter. When asked what the heck was going on, they said there was lots of banging and yelling upstairs and they wanted to be ready to defend themselves. Of course. Arm yourselves with knives.

Don't even consider using the phone to call the emergency number your father and I showed you before we left. Sigh.

We are off to Paris next to meet up with the Faurot's, Reinkings, and Jessica Founds. There will be 8 boys between us (all aged 10-18) so I am sure there will be mayhem!

Bruges, Belgium: Day #4 or "The "Riley Show" is born."

June 20: Amsterdam-Brussels-Bruges

Today was our first of about 12 moves on the trip. It could have been much worse. We all managed to get out of the house and into the rain quite nicely. After a very refreshing natural shower on the way to the tram stop we boarded the SUPER FAST and fancy train to Brussels. To make it the best day ever, Toby spotted a Starbucks and raced to reconnect with his caramel macchiato lover and take the requisite selfie with the sign. (As he is doing this, Bailey is heard saying in a horrified and disdainful tone, "Oh. God! Dad is taking a selfie with the sign!")

The train was a little slice of heaven: plush seats, free wifi, plugs for our devices, food and BEVERAGE service! It was awesome! Toby took a nap while I sat in what I now call "the frat house"- a set of four seats, three of which are filled with the children I made who are super funny and borderline inappropriate at all times.

I am not sure why it took so long for this to happen but Bailey's superior filming skills and Riley's superior random humor finally connected in what is to be known as "The Riley Show". This is the premise: Bailey says a topic or offers a random object and Riley.... just starts talking. Now, if you truly know Riley, you understand that this is hilarious. I have no idea what goes on in his head but it is a unique and "creative" place to say the least! Thank GAWD we were almost the only ones in our train car because between Riley's monologue and Bailey, Jensen, and Mom being subject to Riley's RANDOMNESS, it got a bit loud with us laughing. (Toby is still sleeping over on the side....)

This is what 10:00 pm looks like!

After arriving in Bruges and checking into the "The River Lounge" apartment, we went shopping for some dinner for the boys. (Toby and I planned to pull another "runner" and leave them to explore the village) As we entered the supermarket, Bailey grabs one of my shopping bags and says, "Okay mom. Riley and I are going to fill this bag with food we want." THAT is never good. I despise taking them shopping as I end up with a cart full of processed crap. True to form, even though they don't read a bit of Dutch/Flemish, they managed to find candy, soda, Tic-Tacs, and Chicken Ceasar Salad (?).

The evening ended with Toby and I walking into Bruges, having drinks at a darling little bar and strolling home at sunset.... which is about 10:00pm!
Not bad for a day's work!

Amsterdam Day #3: or "Bad parenting in three easy steps..."

Day 3: Amsterdam - Sigh. I had SUCH high hopes for today. We went to the Anne Frank House this morning and just walked right in thanks to my METICULOUS planning and ticket purchasing. It was NOT appreciated by most of the family members. The big boys understood the seriousness and sadness of the whole story and tour but Jensen still could not tell me more than "she was a girl who hid during the war". Well. No. So, of course, I launched into a "Mrs. McDonell" lecture about the holocaust and it's implications for future generations, especially NOW... He just stared at me and said, "Oh. Sorry Mom.... can we PLEASE get breakfast now?" I guess 2/3 of the kids is better than nothing.

Onward to our next activity, which I MISTAKENLY thought would be "culturally interesting"

The Red Light District (aka: The sex city)

but turned out to be emotionally damaging, according to Riley, at least. We took a stroll (at 1:30 in the afternoon!) through the Red Light District. In yet another ironic twist, the little boys managed to see every single red-light, curtained doorway and its occupants and emerged at the end of the first street LITERALLY yelling at me, "Mom! You are a bad parent! You can't bring your kids to a sex city!" No lie. That is verbatim. On the other hand, Toby is looking at them bewildered and says, "that is strange, I thought there was supposed to be all these red lights and windows". Um... yes we were all walking down the same street at the same time and somehow THE MAN missed the show? Gawd! It was not like we could go back for a second trip! Riley told me that he was "officially shunning" me from the family until I got him back to our apartment. Because it was Father's Day, Bailey (so GENEROUSLY!) offered to stay with Toby and "walk around" with him. Yah, right. That was total charity I am sure!

After Toby and Bailey returned (TWO hours later!), next up was the child abandonment portion of our day that we are actually enjoying immensely and getting quite good at! Toby and I did not even attempt to lure the boys to the museums.

We just left them cookies, cheese and bread and took off! I can guarantee you it would not have been the same viewing the AMAZING Picasso, Mondrian, and Warhol paintings while being asked, "when do we get to leave?"

We then felt obligated to check out the potential restaurant for the evening meal by sampling the beverage selections. We were only looking out for the kid's needs, of course. As Toby chatted with the locals and the bartender joined us at our table, I ran (well not really, we ALL know I do NOT run) down to the corner where our flat is and grabbed the kids. We had a great meal and when they were done, we just sent them back home on their merry way while we finished our next round of drinks! THIS is the best part of teenagers! Foreign soil security detail and supervision services! I finally found the silver lining!

Tomorrow we are off to Bruges, Belgium where there is fun for everyone! It is the beer and chocolate capital of the world right? Until then....

Amsterdam: Day #2 or "McDonell boys pass out on boat by 7pm... no illegal substances involved"

In a drastic role reversal, I was the last one to wake up this morning at 7:00am! Jet lag had set in and the boys woke up at 5:00am. (I am silently laughing....)

We took off for an AWESOME food tour of the Pijp area of Amsterdam. Not only did we experience "four seasons a DAY" here which required both shorts and umbrellas in a span of 10 minutes, but we ate things we NEVER would have tried unless we were being coerced.... I mean SUPERVISED but a totally fun couple of young women who knew their way around! The boys actually tried (and did not spit out) a single thing! Toby (of course!) was the most into it! He was the only one in our group of 10 that succumbed to the peer pressure to eat "Herring on the tail". I know, we are all totally NOT shocked. Of course, Riley could not be one upped, so he also tried it in the end.

From there we went back to our apartment where Toby, Riley, and Jensen "needed to rest". REST! I have a list a mile long to get through and only two more days to do it! Bailey was my willing victim and we set out to explore "The Nine Little Streets" which was.... educational... and delicious! We are in Amsterdam for heaven's sake so we HAD to look at the BAZILLION incarnations of marijuana paraphernalia offered every 3.5 feet! Poor Bailey. He had to be 18 to enter a coffee shop so I took it upon myself to go in and investigate! I suspect the proprietors were giggling at me as I left because I had NO CLUE what I was even looking at (and I was wearing my perky hot-pink Patagonia ski jacket that just screams, "I am so uncool and I have a bunch of kids!")

Bailey and I attempted to both just casually
walk into this one and the
guy took one look at him and started yelling,
"I.D.! You need an I.D.!" That got us out pretty fast!

We also had heard about the most amazing cookies ON THE PLANET, so amazing that the whole store LITERALLY sells just one kind of cookie! We actually sat down and watched them make the dough and got the cookies WARM and fresh out of the oven! Oh my. The store is called Van Staple Koekmakerij (I'm guessing the last word is "cookie makery" but that's as far as I will guess!) I am also of the opinion that the girls that own it are MARKETING GENIUSES! It just happens to be next door to one of the most popular weed shops in the city.

Our final activity of the day was to take a canal tour. I LOVED it because it was really interesting and beautiful. I am pretty sure the boys enjoyed it too, as it literally lulled them to sleep in the first 10 minutes. I wish I had gotten a picture. Bailey was passed out sprawled across the table, Jensen was laying across the entire bench using Toby as a pillow and Riley is is hunched over the table like a lump of curly hair. Those crazy party boys managed to make it 7:45pm today! Just like the old days of toddlerhood! Only, I can not carry a single one of them anymore!

Finally, I will leave with a personal note to my friend Susie Jensen. I FINALLY GET IT... although she is Danish, I now totally get her general outrage that we Americans have "way too many rules". Being a pedestrian in Amsterdam is like playing Frogger when you are drunk. If it is not a bike racing toward you carrying no less than three people (none wearing helmets and ALL wearing spiked heels and trendy clothes), multiple grocery bags swinging from the handlebars AND the driver is wearing ear buds AND texting, then it is the mopeds that think that the bike paths are just fine for them as they also have just two wheels! I swear I saw about 300 different "American" traffic laws being violated every ten seconds and not a single person (except me of course!) slows down or even seems the slightest bit concerned. AND I have yet to see a single accident. Go figure.

Until tomorrow when I am forcing my children (and Toby) to go take a tour of The Anne Frank House (educational moment) followed immediately by a trip to the Red Light District (potential inappropriate viewing moment) and finally, taking Toby to a Father's Day brunch at the smallest restaurant in all of Europe, "The Upstairs Pancake House". (Thank you Jessica White for the recommendation!)

Team Testosterone Takes Europe... Day #1: Amsterdam

Stardate Log: 6/16/16.... or "What happens when 5 people go 24 hours without a wink of sleep".

Amsterdam: The seat back screens on the flights now are both a blessing and a curse. One one hand, I did not have to interact with a single child for the duration of the 10.5 hour flight except to tell them their next meal was ready to be served or to ask them, perhaps, if they may need to use the bathroom.... even once???? The flip side of this was that my 10 year old learned MANY new and exciting things from watching "Deadpool" and the opportunity to free-feed on screen time for 10.5 hours was taken VERY seriously! Not a moment could be spared for reading or origami or the card tricks I brought!

That said, we all blearily made it to the CUTEST apartment in Amsterdam about 11:00am. I am about to drop into unconsciousness as my bedtime is a crazy 8pm and I am WELL past that, but the kids? Ummm.... they are all ready for college- not tired at all! In fact, Toby had to take them out for a walk and their first taste of European food... ice cream (?)

They made it back to the flat and promptly fell into near comatose sleep states, just in time for dinner!  Instead of worrying about the jet lag and "getting on a schedule", Toby and I did not hesitate! We wrote those boys a note, grabbed our fistful of euros and ran to the bar down the street where we had a TWO HOUR meal... ALONE! How so completely sad we had to leave the North American continent to have a date. We could have sat outside the adorable restaurant (aptly named "Foodism") for hours more but we were a bit concerned that the boys may wake up and think we left them to starve with nothing to sustain them but the free wifi.


Now it is almost 10:00pm and the sun is just beginning to set. Jensen roused himself for a "meal" of Nutella on bread and a fistful of salami. The dinner of champions! The other two boys are still out. It was a great first day! Tomorrow we have a big walking food tour.... I hope everyone will be awake enough to remember it!