The McDonell Holiday Tirade... um... Letter!

For your reading pleasure....

Who knew my children were royalty?

December 4, 2013 - Feeling generous this morning and diverging from the typical "Do It Yourself" morning routine of a school day, I asked Riley and Jensen what they wanted for breakfast. IMMEDIATE Responses:

Riley: I want toast. I would like you to MONITOR it so it is just golden brown, not burned.

Jensen: I want toast,  not too toasted but still soft….. with butter.

As my mouth gaped open and I prepared to tell them exactly WHERE they could go to get their breakfast they both hurriedly said, “Please!”… Oh. Well. I guess the imperious directives are okay if they are polite!

Another Day in Parenting Paradise!

Ahh.... Another day in parenting paradise! I was really trying to be angry at the big boys but kept laughing and having to turn my head away so Jensen would not see me. The Amezcua family who we were staying with probably were thanking GOD they had only one boy and one girl and perhaps thought I was a bit crazy for shaking with (silent) laughter as my youngest child was mentally tortured by his big brothers..... I gotta get my entertainment somewhere right?

Give Me Wifi or Give Me Death!... An Alaska moment

When we first arrived at the hotel we only had access to wifi on two devices so being the super kind parents we were (after being completely bewildered as to why there is not free wifi everywhere!) allowed Riley and Jensen to put it on their iPads. 

I really needed to borrow one for just a few minutes just to check our plans for the following day. When I asked one of them to part with their iPad for JUST FIVE MINUTES they acted like I was asking them for a kidney! After some threats and maybe a few "bad parent" words I did manage to get one.

Bailey summed it up perfectly... "Mom, you can actually live without a kidney but you can not live without your iPad." Spoken like a true digital native. Looking for addiction clinics now.....

Misinterpretation of Adult Paraphernalia

One of our favorite stores in San Luis Obispo is "Quirk World". It is filled to the rafters with hilarious (albeit inappropriate) things.  I am certain that anyone who knows us will not be shocked, but our kids make a beeline for it once we hit downtown.

As Toby and Riley are purchasing a hat (see background of photo), Jensen runs up and says, "Mom! Look at this cool horn! Can I PLEASE, PLEASE get it?" and he proceeds to demonstrate how HE THINKS it should be used.

Before this moment passes, I rip out my camera and take this photo; then I inform him that, "No, Jensen, we can not buy this. It is NOT a horn.... It is a beer bong." To make matters even worse, Riley (age 10) comes up behind him and says, "Oh. A beer bong. That isn't how you are supposed to use it."

WHHHHAAATTTT?!!!!! No more TV! No more YouTube!
At least they are ready for college right?

Underage Eating....

I see that Jensen is eating a lollipop and I ask him, "Jensen, what flavor is that? Sour Apple?"

Jensen responds with, "No Mom! This here is MARGARITA flavor! Wanna taste?"

Um, no thanks. But I'm googling rehab facilities when we get back to the hotel.

Running Coach from Hell....

I am training for the Bridge to Bridge run in October. (10k but that is quite a stretch for "old Gina"). I have been getting up at 6:00am to run. Today, Riley decides he is going to go with me. Aww. Nice right?
So 2.5k into the run, Riley is not winded or remotely perspiring... he is actually SKIPPING next to me and chatting away as I drag my sorry cardiovascular system back from the brink of death!
At the end of the run he says that he thinks he can help me. A direct quote: "I think if I put a yoke on you, like an oxen, and I chased behind you with a pair of those fake chattery teeth on a stick, I could try to bite you with the teeth... and you could maybe run a bit faster."

Gee, thanks. That sounds super fun... and would not look at all strange. Also, you can kiss all your future birthday presents goodbye.

Uhh.... Inappropriate McDonell Moment #6,347.... Surprise! (not)

Toby walks over to the couch and throws himself over the side to land on me... nice. He then proceeds to kiss me (totally G-Rated I swear!) Jensen (age 7) comes running in the room and shouts, "HEY THERE! Let me in! I want to have some sex with you too!"

Calling therapist.... right after I change clothes from wetting my pants from laughing.... sigh. Never a dull moment... and very often those moments are filed in the "INAPPROPRIATE" category.